Follow Your Heart

The Void 

For many years, I felt a void-like something was missing.  I was doing all of the “right” things, checking off the boxes life handed me, yet the emptiness lingered.  No matter what I accomplished or how full my schedule looked on paper, something within me still felt incomplete.   

Then slowly, I began doing things I actually enjoyed again.  I started watching TikTok reels and, surprisingly, learned a lot during those quiet covid months.  I watched movies on Netflix, anything to bring a little light into my day.  What else could I do?  Work, then home.  Day in, day out.   

Each evening became a ritual:  come home, straight to the shower, find something to eat, and sit in the stillness of a world that has shut down.  And in the silence, everything I had tucked away for years began to surface-old wounds from past relationships, jobs, friendships, heartbreak, the loneliness of a new home, becoming an empty nester...and the overwhelming quiet that followed. It was hard.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was moving though the dark night of the soul.  I was facing everything I had been avoiding.   

Tears come.  Truths surfaced.  And slowly, I began to rise. 

Follow your heart 

Your heart always knows the way long before your conscious mind has had time to process the emotions rising within you.  That soft nudge, that inner knowing, it’s always there, guiding you gently through every situation in life.  But often, we overlook it. 

That quiet wisdom gets buried beneath emotional triggers, wave of fear, doubt, past wounds, that cloud the mind and steer us off course.   This is why we’re told: don’t make hasty decisions.  And it’s true.  That guidance is dead on. 

Give yourself space.  Take the time to separate your emotions from your inner knowing.  Feel everything, yes, but then listen for the calm voice within.  And when you hear it, trust it. 

Trust yourself.  Trust your instincts.  Trust the knowing that, in both life and love, what is meant for you will always find its way. 

From Wanting Change to Creating It 

There is a huge difference between wanting to change and being willing to change.  Almost everyone wants to grow, to heal, to become better, but very few are willing to take the steps necessary to create that change. 

I was given a simple yet powerful piece of advice: follow your heart.  And my heart?  It was telling me to start writing again.  To start reading again.  I was told to accept God into my life again fully.  There was nothing standing in my way, so I did it. 

I created that change for myself. 

I started journaling, reading, and rediscovered what it felt like to enjoy life.  I began going to church twice a week, not out of obligation, but out of a deep desire to learn more about the scripture and to truly listen to the message. I wanted to be a part of something greater than myself.    

I visited different churches, searching for where i felt most at home.  I loved learning about each one, their messages, their rituals, their presence.  In time, I found comfort and connection in three Catholic churches nearby.  One was the church I grew up in. Another was on a college campus.  And the third was in a nearby town. Each one holds a unique and sacred tie to me, a thread in the tapestry of my return to faith. 

Journaling with God 

I began to journal.   

But how does one actually journal? At first, I simply started writing my thoughts.  I included Bible verses that spoke to me that day.  Words that brought me comfort, clarity, or conviction.  It wasn’t about being perfect.  It was about being honest.  That intention alone became the beginning of a daily practice that would soon change everything for me. 

Early each morning, I set aside an hour just for me and God.  I listened to the daily mass on my phone, read my devotions, meditated, prayed and then wrote every single day.  I’ve been doing this faithfully since January 2023. 

At first, I’d end with, “Thank you for listening to me and allowing me to put my thoughts down on paper”.   Over time that simple gratitude turned into something more.  After about a month, I began writing daily letters to God each morning.  I’d pour out whatever was on my heart, whether I was feeling overwhelmed, my fears, my hopes, my questions, or just needed peace.  I surrender what I couldn’t carry anymore and give it to Him.  Looking back, I now realize that through all of this, I was laying the foundation for this very blog.  I never imagined I’d be here-writing, sharing, and allowing others into this sacred intimate part of my journey.  But here we are. 

Feeding My Soul 

I began to read again.   

A friend suggested a few books that helped them on their own journey, so I decided to give them a try.  I ordered them, not expecting much, just hoping for something that might resonate.  

But the moment I began reading, I couldn’t put the book down.  It fed my soul to the core.  One passage in particular stayed with me: 

The genius of intimacy is that when we bring our dark side out into the light in the context of a loving relationship, our darkness loses its power over us.  Darkness cannot abide the light of love.  It is intimacy that will hold our hand and walk through the dark rooms of our past and present.  It is intimacy that has the power to set us free from our faults, fears, and failures. 

Those words lit something inside me.  They reminded me that healing doesn’t mean hiding from our darkness, it means bringing it into the light with love.  That love starts with God and with ourselves.  That’s where the real transformation happens. 

But intimacy doesn’t begin with another person – it begins with yourself. 

You have to build a relationship with yourself first.  Learn to love yourself fully, even the parts of you once kept hidden.  Only then can you truly open yourself to love, and it opens the space for healthy, whole connection with others. 

I’ve found peace in my life because I’ve surrendered everything to God.  I ask Him daily to guide me.  I try to live by His way, faith – through writing, praying, and talking to Him every day. 

I’ve also learned to listen. 

I seek answers from God, from Source, from the Universe.  From the Divine.  From the Archangels and the Holy Spirit.  And I receive those answers – in angel numbers, songs, synchronicities, people, signs, and in the gentle knowing of my intuition. 

Coming Home to Myself  

It’s all connected.  It’s all love. 

As I look back on everything, I see now that I wasn’t lost, I was simply being led home.  Back then, I didn’t know that choosing to sit in the silence, to face my shadows, and to surrender the things I couldn’t control would open the door to something so sacred.  But it did. 

I’ve learned that transformation doesn’t happen in an instant.  It happens in the quiet, consistent moments – when you show up for yourself, for God, and for the life you’ve meant to live.  Every time I chose to write instead of numb, to pray instead of panic, to surrender instead of strive – I was building the foundation for something new. 

This blog is a piece of that foundation.  It’s a reflection of everything I’ve been through, everything I’ve learned, and everything I’m still becoming. 

So, if you’re reading this and feel that same void I once felt, I want you to know:  you’re not alone.  The path may feel uncertain, but your heart already knows the way.   

Follow it.  Trust it.  Let it lead you home. 

Keep shining your light ✨